


if i can dream long enough

by hi_hello_hey_there



Series: you don't have to say i love you (to say i love you) [20]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: (there will be no slandering of my boy in this house), (those last couple were really depressing), Again: The Tags Contain Spoilers, Alive Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Blood and Injury, Bobby | Trevor Wilson Redemption, Canonical Character Death, Childhood Memories, First Kiss, Food Poisoning, Forehead Touching, Gen, Good Parents Emily & Mitch Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Good Person Bobby | Trevor Wilson, Loneliness, More Spoilery Tags Ahead, Nightmares, Pre-Relationship, Slash, Stop Reading the Tags if You Don't Want to Be Spoiled!!, Tags Contain Spoilers, The Phantoms Come Back to Life (Julie and The Phantoms), This is Your Last Warning!, Unfinished Business, Vomiting, dream imagery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:13:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hi_hello_hey_there/pseuds/hi_hello_hey_there
Summary: He hears her clear her throat a few times over the line and is about to ask her about it when she says, “I have a favor to ask.”A pause. “Okay.”She huffs once before continuing. “This may sound strange, but there’s something here I need you to see. Can you come to the house today?”
Relationships: Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Alex Mercer, Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters & Julie Molina, Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Julie Molina, Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Luke Patterson, Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Reggie Peters, Emily Patterson & Luke Patterson & Mitch Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Emily Patterson & Mitch Patterson & Luke Patterson & Alex Mercer & Reggie Peters, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Series: you don't have to say i love you (to say i love you) [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1942267
Comments: 42
Kudos: 73





	1. until it disappeared (from me, from you)

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this story comes from the literal jatp anthem [Ghost of You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stdr6o0-HOM) by 5 Seconds of Summer, aka 2010s Sunset Curve. Give it a listen if you're up for it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'll do it for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day, my lovelies! I wanted to take the time now to say that I really love you all and want to thank you for your unending support for this beast of a project. That being said, this is going to take a little more suspension of disbelief. Not too much, though. (Not as much as the demon did.) Also!!! Title of this chapter comes from the wonderful, sad, beautiful song [To Build A Home](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUFJJNQGwhk) by The Cinematic Orchestra. I suggest listening to that before/during/after you read to get the whole picture. Love you all! Enjoy!

Valentine’s Day seems to come earlier and earlier every year and Bobby is preparing to spend it alone as usual. Even when he was married, he and Beth never celebrated on the day for reasons that were personal to them both. He got it. He was a little less than enthusiastic when Carrie started dating and he was well and truly alone on the day meant to commemorate love, but it wasn’t too terribly different from how he was used to spending it anyway.

What he’s not expecting, though, is a call from Julie Molina at half past three in the afternoon. “Hey, Julie,” he says, pausing his meditation music when he picks up. “I haven’t heard from you in a while. Everything okay?”

“I’m fine, Mr. Wilson.” He scoffs fondly; no matter how many times he’d asked her to call him Trevor, he knew she never would, not with how she was raised, and eventually gave up. “Thanks for asking.”

“Well, that’s good. What’s up?”

He hears her clear her throat a few times over the line and is about to ask her about it when she says, “I have a favor to ask.”

A pause. “Okay.”

She huffs once before continuing. “This may sound strange, but there’s something here I need you to see. Can you come to the house today?”

That is strange, but she doesn’t sound in immediate danger, so he skips over asking her if she’s sure she’s alright. “Anything in particular I need to worry about?”

“No,” she says immediately. “No, just… something to do with your old band that I found in my mom’s studio.”

Ah, so there it is. Carrie must have told her about that whole ordeal now that they’re hanging out again. The thought doesn’t ease any concerns that may have started to form anyway. “Okay. I’ll be there soon.”

“Great.” He can practically see her relief. “Thank you.” He hangs up the phone and sighs, rubbing his hands over his face.

“Weird,” is all he says before grabbing a jacket and shoes from his closet and heading out to the car. “Very weird.”

~ ~ ~

It’s both unsettling and familiar to be pulling into his old driveway. Bobby smiles when he sees that nothing much has changed, from the neatly trimmed front lawn to the missing chunk of the first step up to the path leading to the house. It had been his idea to offer the house he was moving out of for Ray and Rose to check out after they got married. The Molinas had been some of his oldest friends and he was more than willing to help them get their feet beneath them. He was even more pleased when they decided to move in, even going so far as to help convert the old studio into a music room for Rose; he knew she’d take care of the boys’ old instruments in the loft.

“Back here, Mr. Wilson!” Julie calls. She must have heard his car, he reasons as he makes his way up to and around the house. He unlocks the gate, still creaky as ever, and steps under the trellis, giving himself a moment to just take in the sight of his former practice area. Even when he and Beth and Carrie were visiting for playdates or family dinners, he never once set foot out here, going so far as to refuse going onto the back deck so he wouldn’t have to look. But he’s an adult, for God’s sake, an adult with a therapist; he can face something that holds… too many memories for him to process.

The studio’s doors are propped open and he takes a shaky breath as he steps inside. Julie greets him with a smile and a wave from her position at the keyboard. Ray and Carlos are seated on the couch that still sits opposite where the instruments are set up for rehearsal. “Ray,” he says, walking over to the man he once considered his close friend.

He stands and cross the room, meeting him halfway with an outstretched hand of his own. “Trevor.”

“Hey, Mr. Wilson,” Carlos says politely from his seat. Bobby cracks a smile and follows Ray back to the couch to ruffle his hair.

“Please, take a seat.” Ray motions to an available chair and Bobby settles himself in it. He takes a moment to breath through the achingly painful familiarity of being here, in this space.

“So, what can I do you for?” he finally says after he’s sure he won’t puke or burst into tears right then and there.

Julie’s face sours and she shoots her father a worried, weary, wary look. Ray just gives her an encouraging smile, nodding affirmatively at her. She clears her throat and says, “This is going to sound really strange and you may think it’s crazy, but I need you to listen before you react. Okay?”

Bobby sees the tense set of Julie’s shoulders, the wrinkle between her eyebrows and Ray’s, concern clear on Carlos’ face. It sort of makes him want to hightail it out of there and avoid whatever is causing this level of distress, but he shakes his head yes. “Okay.”

Julie launches into a story, then, of a band she should’ve known nothing about, at least not as much as she seems to know about it. She tells him about three boys who were the catalyst to her healing, who saved her and she saved in return. She tells him about the troubles these boys faced even in death and Bobby feels tears well in his eyes when she gets to the part of them almost vanishing for good. She tells him that they’re stuck here and she feels awful keeping them here. She tells him she thinks he has something to do with how they can finally cross over and be at peace, how they can rest. She has tears streaming down her face when she finishes. “I can’t stop thinking that I’m responsible for making them stay here when they should be off living their afterlives and playing music with David Bowie or something. Playing the Orpheum was supposed to be their unfinished business, but I think it’s actually playing with you.” She takes a deep breath, wiping at her face furiously with the heels of her hands. “The night they died, you were supposed to play the biggest show of your lives, the show that would kickstart your career, but you never got to. And while the place may have been significant, it was the people involved that were important. I know you must think I sound out of my mind.”

“No. I believe you,” he says before he can think. He might have had more trouble believing it if he hadn’t seen those three boys with his own two eyes a few months ago. “How long have you felt like this?”

Julie sighs, shoulders slumping and Ray claps a hand down on his shoulder. “A while now, I suppose, but I really started noticing it around Christmas. It hurts, thinking of them gone, but I’ve kept this bottled up for too long. I don’t want to keep them from doing the most they could and with our set up now, they can’t. After I learned about Alex’s sister, it was the final straw and I realized how much they’re missing, what they can never be a part of again. I just want them to be okay.” She checks her phone. “They’ll be here any minute for band practice. Will you help me help them?”

Her eyes are so sincere, so reminiscent of Luke’s passion and Alex’s selflessness and Reggie’s kindness and Rose's determination, that he lets a few tears fall. **“I’ll do it for you.”** He pauses again. “And I’ll do it for them.”

Julie’s breath is shaky and smile watery, but she smiles nonetheless. “Thank you,” she whispers. She exhales a long, quavering breath and scrubs at her cheeks to get rid of the evidence of their conversation. “Oh, um, I really did find something out here for you.” She stands from the piano bench and delicately moves amongst all the equipment to where a few guitar stands are set up. The guitar she lifts is one that he knows as well as the back of his hand.

“Wow,” he says, when she hands it to him. It’s cherry red body gleams in the lights of the studio, the checkered strap just as frayed as he remembers. “I missed this.” He’s plucking out some random chords, one of his newer songs that didn’t do so well, when a shiver runs up his spine. He notices the temperature dips right as the Molinas’ postures and facial expressions change.

“Thanks for joining my practice, Mr. Wilson,” Julie announces rather than says with an big, false smile on her face. She may be gifted at many artistic disciplines, but acting is not her strong suit. “I wanted to get in touch with my roots today.”

He knows this show isn’t for him, but his brain isn’t really comprehending the gravity of the situation, so all he says is, “No problem.”

“Let’s get started,” she says, taking up her previous post. Back at the piano, she seems more relaxed, reserved, like she remembers what they’re doing. “I thought we could start with a song I found on an old CD that I really like. Do you know Late Last Night?”

“Yep.” He will not elaborate any further than that. He can’t imagine what’s going on that he can’t see, but if Julie’s pinched expression is anything to go by, her bandmates are not happy and he doesn’t exactly blame them.

“Okay.” Her attention snaps back to him suddenly, a tight, close-mouthed smile on her face. “You start.”

Bobby has to really concentrate on getting the right pattern down as he plays the opening chords to a song off of Sunset Curve’s demo, a song he hadn’t listened to in almost thirty years. He remembers that Luke was supposed to come in with his own guitar and the first verse, but Julie sings instead, an improvised piano melody supporting her vocals. “ _The more I think about what’s happening, the more I realize our true aim. I didn’t think that we would get this far. These words are our only claim to fame_ .” It’s one of Sunset Curve’s more ambitious endeavors, slower and more alternative than their usual sound, a song about their hopes and dreams and ambitions, but it was one of the only songs all four of them had collaborated on and they agreed it needed to be something the world heard. “ _But late last night_ ,” Julie begins the chorus, and each word is punctuated by a crash of the cymbals. He hears bass and lead guitar and familiar voices, but he refuses to turn around. Bobby can feel his whole body go numb and it’s really good that his muscle memory has kicked in because suddenly he’s…

_...six years old, halfway through kindergarten, and absolutely friendless. He didn’t realize how hard it would be to relate to kids his own age. All of his cousins are already in middle and high school and he has no siblings of his own to help him transition. Lunchtime and recess are the worst, though, because he sits alone in the back of the cafeteria and then alone on one of the broken swings on the playground. He dreads it every day. But today, there’s a new kid. He’s taller than Bobby and so blond it hurts to look at his hair directly. Everyone wants to be his friend but he can tell the boy seems overwhelmed, so he doesn’t push his luck. At lunch, he files to his usual seat and digs into the ham sandwich his mom packed for him. It’s shocking when the new boy approaches him out of nowhere._

_“Can I sit here?” He points at the empty chair across from where he’s sitting and Bobby only nods. The boy sits down and pops open a Masters of the Universe lunch box. “I’m Alex, by the way.”_

_Bobby swallows his food before introducing himself._

_“Cool,” is all Alex says before he sends a nervous look towards the rest of the students in the cafeteria. “Are they always this loud?” It makes Bobby nearly shoot chocolate milk out of his nose when he laughs which makes Alex laugh and from then on it’s history. The two of them are inseparable, a dynamic duo until…_

_…it’s the first day of fourth grade and Bobby’s about to turn ten when another new student joins their school. “Everyone say hello to Reginald Peters,” Mr. Colfax says. The class choruses it back and they try not to fix him with stares. Their school is big and they get new people all the time, but this is the first person Bobby’s met who wears a belt buckle the size of an apple._

_“Hi!” Reginald greets in return, a bright smile occupying his face. He has an accent. “Y’all can call me Reggie.”_

_When he walks down the aisle to sit in front of where Bobby and Alex are sitting, he notices that Alex has a little bit of an awestruck look on his face and he delivers a sharp elbow to his best friend’s ribs. “I want to be friends with him.” Alex doesn’t take his eyes off the back of Reggie’s head the whole first period. When it’s time for gym, Bobby and Alex are quick to get into stride with Reggie._

_“Where are you from?” Alex asks, nearly startling the poor kid half to death._

_The smile returns to his face instantly, though. “Texas. We moved here because my daddy got a new job.”_

_“That’s awesome. I’m Bobby,” he says._

_“Alex. Hi.”_

_It doesn’t take long for Reggie to get adopted into their little group, especially not after Reggie takes a dodgeball to the face and Alex and Bobby offer to help him get to the nurse’s office. They crack jokes to try and lighten the mood as Nurse Martha tries to stem the bleeding from Reggie’s nose. After that, they’re a trio. They do everything together, from new movies to school dances to…_

_...a year later when they get yet another new student. This one’s all the way from Canada and he brings a guitar to show and tell and he’s undeniably-_

_“Cool,” Reggie whispers to Bobby when the kid, Luke his name is, finishes his rendition of Radio Ga Ga. Bobby can only nod as Luke smiles proudly when their music teacher praises him._

_Alex is drumming his fingers on the table in front of him, definitely to the beat of the song that was just played, when Luke stops at their table. “You play?” is what he asks in a hushed tone as the next student starts their show and tell._

_Alex’s hands still and his eyes widen comically at being addressed by the cool new guy. “Uh, no.”_

_“Bummer. You’d be pretty good.” Luke pulls out the empty chair at the end of the table instead of returning to his previous seat._

_“Thanks.” Bobby is pretty sure Alex is blushing. “You were really good.”_

_Luke’s face splits into the single most radiant smile Bobby has ever seen. “Thanks. You guys like Queen?”_

_“Only one of the best bands ever,” Reggie responds, leaning past his friends to answer._

_That seems to be all it takes for Luke to talk to them in whispers for the rest of the class about rock music and how much he and Bobby hate math and offering to teach Reggie how to play guitar. It’s Alex’s idea to go as Queen for Halloween later that month and Luke is officially inducted into their group. Their costumes are a hit with Bobby’s whole neighborhood where they go trick-or-treating that year. The four of them become closer and more outgoing with Luke’s charisma and they…_

_...are on winter break. Bobby has just turned thirteen and his parents have given him a new guitar for Christmas. It’s bright red and he thinks he may be in love. He and the boys are camped out in the old garage at his house, getting ready to have another sleep over and showing each other their holiday gifts. Bobby is absently plucking at his guitar as Reggie shows off the watch his_ zayde _had passed down to him when Luke fixes them each with a look._

_“What are you thinking?” Alex asks, having picked up on the obvious gears turning in Luke’s head._

_“We should start a band.” And because they’re seventh grade boys, that sounds like the coolest idea ever. They start talking about how Alex will be their drummer, as his parents had gifted him with an electronic drum set for Christmas as a compromise to an actual kit. Reggie will be their bassist; it can’t be that different from the banjo. Bobby and Luke will be their main guitarists and they can all sing. Nobody gets much sleep that night, even after Bobby’s parents come to the garage and tell them to get into their PJs for lights out. They’re all too excited to sleep and Luke pulls one of the unused school notebooks from his bag, writing down some lyrics he’d been messing around with. Bobby thinks this will be good for them, that it’ll be fun and that they’ll start rehearsal…_

_...as soon as Alex shows up. Nearly two years have gone by, packed to the brim with lyrics, endless practices, broken drum sticks, new guitar strings, blood, sweat, and tears, and the newly minted Sunset Curve is ready to make their debut performance at the high school’s fall festival. Their gig is only two days out and they’re all feeling the heat. Freshmen have never played the festival and being given the privilege to do so had come at no small cost. They all worked themselves to the bone, forgoing sleep in favor of refining their setlist and practicing every possible waking moment._

_“Where is he? He’s never late,” Luke says irritably, pacing back and forth in front of the instruments set up in the garage-now-studio._

_“I’m sure he’ll be here,” Bobby reassures. “There’s probably-”_

_He’s cut off by Alex rushing into the space, door creaking open and shut behind him. He’s quickly throwing his bag down and rummaging around in it, pulling his sticks and a journal out. “Sorry I’m late. My parents would not let me go today.”_

_“No biggie, dude,” Reggie says with a smile. Alex returns it, though his is tight and Bobby can tell something is up._

_“Listen,” he says, clearing his throat. “I know we’re running on basically no time, but I want to show you guys something.” He flips open the journal before anyone can respond and hands it to Luke, eyes immediately dropping to the ground as soon as it’s out of his hand._

_“Is this a song?” Luke asks incredulously. Reggie and Bobby crowd him to get a peek at their most reclusive bandmate’s inner workings._

_“Yeah.” The response is clipped and quiet and Bobby knows why the instant he reads the chorus. There’s a gratuitous amount of “he” and “his” and “him” used in the words to Alex’s song and Bobby looks up to find Alex already staring at them with fear on his face. He walks over to his bandmate, his best friend, and slings an arm over his shoulders._

_“I support you, man.” Tension bleeds out of Alex’s frame as a shuddering breath leaves him. “Always. Got that?”_

_They’re waiting on the other two to catch up when Reggie finally lifts his eyes from the paper with a smile on his face. “This is really good, dude. Little cheesy, but we can totally work with it.”_

_Luke is nodding along absently and it’s so absurd that they can’t see what’s right in front of them that Alex busts out laughing. Bobby can feel the chuckles rising in him as well when Luke finally meets eyes with them. “What?”_

_“You’re so lucky you can play guitar,” Bobby says with a fond shake of his head. Eventually, they get it and the first thirty minutes of band practice have become a hug session where they all tell Alex how much he means to them, how proud they are. After that, though, they get to work and they’re…_

_...sophomores and Alex tell his parents. They don’t take it so well. He stays in the garage a few nights before he goes home. Things are tense. But he always has the band and they…_

_...play everything. Outside clubs, in back of clubs, hell they even play book clubs. That last one is more about the snacks than anything. They help Luke the best they can when his parents start to try and prevent him from coming to band practices and…_

_...keep Reggie safe from his dad’s anger, his mom’s negligence. Soon, Bobby’s garage is more than just their practice space; it’s become a safe haven for the boys, but Bobby doesn’t mind. It just means he can keep a closer eye on his best friends and keep them safe. Soon…_

_...they’re really taking off. Sunset Curve is gaining traction in the Hollywood music scene and their hard work is finally amounting to something._

_Luke is on the phone, the others anxiously awaiting the verdict, when he finally says, “Thank you for your time.” Bobby can’t tell if he’s doing a voice or if the thinly veiled disappointment is real. He faces the band, a somber expression on his face. Bobby starts to feel his spirits fall when Luke smiles mischievously. “We booked the gig!” They all start screaming and yelling. The Orpheum. They’re going to play the Orpheum, a place where every band that’s played there has made a name for themselves. It’s all so surreal and…_

...the song is over. Bobby is panting with the hurricane of memories that have flashed by in an instant. He’s a little dizzy with the whiplash of realizing he’s not seventeen anymore, that he’s not that same kid anymore. He still has his back turned but out of the corner of his eye, he notices Julie’s expectant expression. _I’m doing this for her_ , he reminds himself. _For… them_.

Steeling himself for whatever’s to come, he takes a deep breath and spins around. Bobby can’t stop his jaw from falling open in awe or his hands from shaking violently. As he looks around at three familiar faces he never thought he’d see again, tears forming and falling rapidly. He brings his hands to his mouth, unsure of what to do with himself.

“Hey, Bobby,” Luke says, his voice still the same.

A smile fights its way to Bobby’s face even through the tears. “Hi.” He drops his head so he can’t be faced with the reality of what happened but soon, he feels three pairs of arms surround him. It’s shocking, as he didn’t really expect them to be tangible, but his arms come up automatically. He’s shaking, hardly breathing, the warmth in their hold so familiar and so comforting, like nothing he’s felt in a long while. “I’m sorry,” he breaths out harshly. “After you died, I was so lost and alone.” The boys pull back to look at him and he feels like a teenager again. “I stopped playing for a while until one day I was messing around in a park in San Diego and the first thing that came to me was one of the songs we had written. I hadn’t realized I drew a crowd until after I was done. After that, I got caught up in a record label with nothing but Luke’s notebook and my guitar. I never meant to make it seem like you had never existed and I never even entertained the thought of recording the songs you all shared in confidence.”

Bobby stops a moment, sucking in a ragged breath as his old bandmates, his best friends, stare back at him. He can’t tell if they believe him or not, but he finishes with, “I just wanted you there with me every time I performed. I couldn’t dream of doing it without you.”

The three of them share looks with one another, nodding silently, before piling back in. “We forgive you.” A burst of white gold light shines and Bobby has to close his eyes against it. He hears Julie’s shuddering sobs and realizes this must be it; their unfinished business. He thinks he knows how Julie is feeling: he just got them back and he doesn’t want to give them up, but it’s their time. He just holds them as tightly as he can so they can go in peace, free to do what they wish with their afterlives. The light dies down, but Bobby never stops feeling their presence in his arms. If anything, they seem to have gotten… more solid?

“What’s happening?” he feels rather than hears Alex ask. Bobby steps back when the three of them gasp suddenly, shock written plainly on their faces.

Julie is confused as well, he can feel it radiating off of her in waves as she comes to stand by him and observe. “I thought-” but she doesn’t finish her sentence; she has no idea where it’s heading, Bobby can tell.

Luke’s hand travels up his torso and rests on his chest. He looks incredulously at the other two. “I can feel my heartbeat.” Alex and Reggie check as well, shaky laughs spilling from them as they wrap their arms around one another.

Julie butts in, taking each of their wrists in her hand, clearly checking herself for their pulses. A wet smile takes its place on her face when she says, “You’re all warm.” Bobby watches as they sink into one another, their arms bone-crushingly tight around each other. Carlos is hopping up from the couch and rushing their hug soon after, wiping tears from his face as they let him in to the center of their huddle. “Does this mean you’re alive again?” he asks.

Bobby notices Ray has a teary-eyed grin on his face as well. “I think so,” Ray answers, voice thick. Julie beckons the both of them over and they’re all wrapped up in each other. There’s some laughter, a lot of tears, but mostly an overwhelmingly powerful and tremendous love.

Somewhere, Bobby hears a stomach rumble. “I’m so hungry,” Reggie declares. It sends up another round of giggles, Bobby burying his nose deeper into the familiar scent of his best friends.

He can’t believe he finally has them back after all this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh hoo hoo! Y'all aren't ready for this! I'm not gonna say much more than: this is gonna be good. As always, you can find the prompts for requests [right here](https://p0ck3tf0x.tumblr.com/post/98502010026/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you) and all of them are open except for 7, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 19, 21, 22, 26, 31, 33, 37, 38, 39, 41, 44, 48, 49, 50, 53, 56, 57, 62, 63, 64, 65, 67, 70, 82, 83, 86, 91, 92, 98, and 99. You can leave a comment here or send me a message on tumblr. I love you all so so so much you don't even know. Thanks for reading and see you next week!
> 
> main: [hi-hello-hey-there](https://hi-hello-hey-there.tumblr.com/)  
> side: [toziers-token](https://toziers-token.tumblr.com/)
> 
> love, blue


	2. i need a voice to echo (i need a light to take me home)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song this chapter's title comes from is [Nightingale](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67MQ5xelNYs) by Demi Lovato. Give it a listen if you're up for it. I just really think it encapsulates the core four's vibes as a whole. Anyway, enjoy!

Ray isn’t nearly as surprised as he should be. If anyone were to defy the laws of physics, of natural order, it would be these kids. A million different reasons as to why these boys have, dare he even say it, come back to life cross his mind at a mile a minute. The most logical solution he can come up with given the never-before-seen circumstances goes something like this: the powers that be, whoever or whatever that is, decided that the boys’ unfinished business requires then to be alive and forgiving Trevor for what he did played a part in starting that process. Ray would like to think that Rose had something to do with it as well, that she’s still looking out for them even from the great beyond. It’s comforting even if it’s not all that realistic.

“Wait,” Alex says, and their group hug starts to disband. “I need to check something.” He unzips his ever-present fanny pack and rifles through the contents before coming up with a simple black leather wallet. He flips it open and pulls his driver’s license out. “Oh my god.”

“What? What’s wrong?” Julie asks, immediately on the defensive. She grabs the license from his hand and examines it. “Oh.” Her face falls into one of slight disbelief and then anger. “Don’t do that. You scared me!” She punches him in the upper arm and he rubs at it.

“Well, don’t leave us hanging,” Ray says with a laugh. Julie hands off Alex’s license to him and he accepts it readily. He skims the information on the card: Alexander Benjamin Mercer, 5-foot-10, blue eyes, blond hair, Los Angeles, California. He’s about to ask what all the hullabaloo is about when he sees it.

DOB: 2/14/2004

“That certainly is something. To be seventeen again,” Trevor remarks from where he’d been reading over Ray’s shoulder. He looks a little more than flabbergasted and Ray can only chuckle at the absurdity of the situation.

Reggie smacks his hand against his forehead. “We just told  _ tía _ , too.” The genuineness of his statement melts the remaining tension in the room.

Luke, however, looks solemn. “I need to tell my parents.”

Ray crosses to him and puts a consoling arm around his shoulders, squeezing once. “I’ll go with you,  _ mijo _ . Anything you need.” Luke smiles up gratefully at him and Ray returns it.

Julie grabs up his hand with both of hers. “We all will.” Reggie, Alex, and Carlos nod along.

“I better be heading out, actually,” Trevor says, sounding remorseful. “Carrie will be back from visiting Nick any minute now and I should probably tell her about-” he gestures vaguely at his former bandmates- “all of this.” It makes the boys smile. “But I will be coming back. We’re not done talking about everything.”

“Thank you for coming,” Julie remarks, still not having let go of Luke’s hand, Ray notices.

Trevor gives a salute on his way out the door. “My pleasure. See you later.” They all give waves of their own as he goes.

A moment settles over the group as if they’re all finally realizing the weight of everything that’s happened in the past half-hour. Ray breaks the silence. “We can go see your parents now if you’d like.”

He locks eyes with Luke, who’s nodding before he can say anything. “That would probably be best.”

“Alright,” Ray concludes. “Let me grab my keys and then we can go.”

~ ~ ~

The car ride is deathly silent. Pun very much not intended.

Julie is having quite an enjoyable time so far watching the boys get used to having bodies again as they struggled to get in the car. She could count on both hands the number of times she’d seen them tense up like they used to right before they teleported out of the room just in the last hour. But a serious air had filled the car as Luke started giving directions. Carlos was riding shotgun; Julie and the boys needed to be close to one another and everyone seemed to be able to tell. Even though the middle row was only technically supposed to seat three at most, all four of them squeezed in and Julie was trying to reach out and touch all of them at once. They need the comfort as much as she does, so she has one hand intertwined with Luke’s fingers, the other wrapped around Alex’s arm, and her sneakered foot is knocking lightly against Reggie’s booted one.

“I just realized you’ll need a real place to sleep,” her dad announces halfway through their drive. Nobody says anything in response so he continues. “You’re all welcome to move into the house. I know the studio doesn’t have the best insulation and it’s only now starting to get a little warmer. Only if you’re comfortable, that is, but the house is open to you. We can get you some new clothes if you want, too.”

There’s a sniffle and Julie peers around Luke to see Reggie surreptitiously trying not to let the tears welled up in his eyes fall. Alex steps up to answer. “We’d like that very much, Mr. Molina.” Luke is too catatonic to do much more than nod absently, but it all makes her dad smile wide and bright at them.

The previous silence comes back once the interaction is over and remains in place until they’re pulling into the Pattersons’ driveway. Julie squeezes Luke’s hand when he looks up at the house, a storm of emotions swirling behind his eyes. “You’re going to be okay,” she promises and he finally looks at her, uncertainty evident on his face. He offers her a weak smile, but it’s good enough for now.

They all pile out of the car slowly, sullenly, and make their way to the front door. Julie only lets go of Luke’s hand once they reach the porch. She addresses all of the boys. “Maybe we should keep you out of sight at first. I don’t want to scare them too badly.”

“Okay.” It’s the first word Luke has said since they left the studio and his voice is raspy with disuse and anxiety.

Julie nods, wishing more than anything that she could reach out and smooth the crease between his eyebrows. Instead she says, “Okay. Whenever you’re ready.” Luke ambles over to the doorbell, hesitating only a moment before pushing the button. She hears the sound from inside the house and someone’s approaching footsteps.

Emily opens the door not too long after and a smile grows on her face. “Julie. How nice to see you again.” She pats Julie’s arm once before extending her hand towards her dad. “And you must be her father.”

“Ray,” he introduces, shaking her hand. “And this is my son, Carlos.”

Emily greets them both before turning back to Julie. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Luke’s father joins them at the door. “Oh, Mitch, look. Julie’s back with her dad and brother.”

“Hi, again. And nice to meet you.” The last part is directed towards Carlos and her dad.

“You were saying,” Emily returns her attention to Julie.

She shoots a hopefully inconspicuous glance at the boys before taking a deep breath. This wouldn’t be the last time she’d have to explain this whole situation, but it certainly might be the most painful in the line leading to the end. “Mrs. Patterson, Mr. Patterson, we have some news. You may not believe us at first and you may think we’re nuts, but just keep in mind that we’re telling the truth and we would never want to intentionally hurt either of you in any way.”

Emily’s eyebrows furrow. “You’re starting to scare me, dear.”

Julie chuckles once humorlessly. “I get that a lot.” She swallows. “Okay, you might want to brace yourselves.” She gestures for the boys to come forward.

Luke steps forward first and Julie watches as Emily’s face goes through disbelief, shock, horror, excitement, and back to disbelief when she lays eyes on her son. She approaches him wordlessly and reaches a tentative hand out towards his cheek. When he closes the gap and leans his head into her touch, they collapse inwards, arms wrapping tighter around one another than Julie has ever seen. Mitch exits the house and joins them, encircling his family with his own arms and laying his forehead on top of his son’s head.

“How? How?” is all Julie can hear Emily saying as she leans back to study Luke, pushing his hair out of his face and taking him in. All of the Pattersons’ faces are covered in tears, but they mostly look happy to be with each other. Mitch notices the other two standing off to the side and the smile on his face only grows. He beckons them over and they join in the group hug, Emily automatically moving to accommodate them. From what Julie understands, the Pattersons were always there for the boys, especially when their parents were being shitty and despite the fact that they didn’t like Luke being in the band in the first place. She would be lying tremendously if she said she didn’t shed a few tears of her own.

“Maybe we should move this inside,” her dad suggests. Emily and Mitch nod and walk Luke inside between them, neither willing to let go of their son. Carlos, noticing Reggie’s distress, wraps an arm around his waist and guides him into the house, Reggie’s arm coming up around his shoulders. Julie sees Alex standing there, a little taken aback himself, and grabs his hand, pulling him gently after her inside. Her dad shuts and locks the door behind them.

Everything is the same as Julie remembers it, old fashioned furniture charming and quaint. The Pattersons have settled in the living room, Emily carding her fingers through her son’s hair on the couch, one of his hands trapped securely in one of his father’s. When Alex sits down next to them, Emily automatically reaches out to caress his cheek before settling her hand on his back, rubbing circles there. Reggie sits on the floor before them and Mitch offers his other hand to him, connecting them all. Julie and her family let them have their moment to reconnect without rushing them, taking their own seats in the empty chairs in the living rom. To be completely honest, Julie is tired of explaining everything and she’s willing to put that off as long as she can get away with.

Eventually, though, Mitch looks up to her and asks, “How- how did all of this happen?”

She takes a deep breath in, ready to launch into the story again, when Luke interrupts her. “I can do it this time.” She just nods at him, thankful for the offer. He jumps right in, starting with the night of the first Orpheum performance, how they died and came back, how Julie fit in, the song she gave them, the second time at the Orpheum, Caleb, Willie, Nick, everything. “And today, after we played with Bobby, we crossed over, just not in the way we thought.” Everyone had been silent the whole time, but at that final statement, Emily lets out a heart wrenching sob and grabs a tighter hold of Luke. He’s quick to add on, **“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”**

Emily lets out a watery sound, part humorless chuckle and part whimper. “Didn’t mean to what? Die?” She chokes on the last word, barely letting it past her lips. “That’s not usually something you can control.”

“I didn’t mean to leave on bad terms,” Luke responds, tears of his own falling down his face. Julie feels like she’s intruding on a very private conversation but there’s no place for her to go right now, so she does her best to be respectful.

“We’re just glad you’re here, son,” Mitch says, smiling down at Luke who gives a shaky grin of his own. “You’re welcome to stay here as long as you want.” The last part is directed at Reggie and Alex who shoot panicked looks at one another then Luke, Julie, Ray, and Carlos.

“Actually, dad,” Luke starts slowly. Julie knows what’s coming next. “Mr. Molina offered to let us stay at their house and I don’t think I- any of us- can be away from each other any time soon.” Julie fights the flush creeping up her cheeks when Luke makes eye contact with her and sees the earnestness on his face.

“Oh.” Mitch looks upset, understandably so, but he lets the topic go without fighting it. He looks up to Julie’s dad. “Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help.”

Her dad gives them a grateful smile. “I certainly will. That’s very kind of you.”

“Actually, there is something I’d like to see,” Luke says, sitting forward on the couch. “Do you have my birth certificate here?”

A look of confusion passes over Emily’s face, but she nods anyway. “Of course.” She pushes off the couch without another word and disappears deeper into the house. She returns a few minutes later after the sound of shuffling papers ends. Dropping a folder onto the dining room table, she beckons them over and Reggie lets Julie help him off the ground so they can see if Luke’s birthdate changed as well.

Luke flits through the papers in the manila folder until he finds what he’s looking for. Julie scans the information over his shoulder, noting his name at the top. “Lucas Calvin Patterson?”

He gives her an embarrassed smile that she can’t help but roll her eyes at. “It was my pap pap’s name.”

Julie goes back to looking at the birth certificate, skimming over his parent’s names and birthplace until she settles on the line that reads Date of Birth- September 19, 2003. “Oh, wow,” Mitch says. He makes a sharp move to the front door, stopping at the little table resting there. He picks up a wallet and pulls a card out of it. “Well, would you look at that.” He definitely seems to be more than a little confused, but with every bomb that’s been dropped on him in the last hour, Julie would say he’s taking it pretty well. “Here.” She notices the card that he hands to his son is his driver’s license.

“Thanks,” Luke responds with a touched smile, obviously a little shocked at the fact that his dad had kept his license in his wallet.

“That reminds me!” Reggie blurts out all of a sudden. “Do you still have the van?”

“Yeah,” Mitch says with a fond smile. “I take it out on errands every so often to keep it working.”

“Can we see it?” Alex asks. He’s being polite, but Julie can see him practically vibrating at the thought of driving their old car. She had been told many a story of their escapades with…  _ Booger  _ and though the name needs a little work, she’s happy they have something from their past to hold on to.

Mitch leads the way, Alex, Reggie, Carlos, and her dad trailing behind. Emily shoots Luke a questioning glance. “Don’t you want to go?”

He nods but says, “In a minute. I want to get some things from my room.”

“Okay. You know where to find us,” Emily says before heading out and joining the rest of them.

Julie remains by his side, determining that while Luke may need some time to decompress, he needs someone there with him. He doesn’t seem surprised when he turns around to see her still standing there, a warm smile filling his face. He extends a hand to her which she willingly takes, twining their fingers together. “Come on.” He leads her back through the living room and down a hallway with four doors. The first they pass is a bathroom, the next a closet, and the last two are bedrooms. The nearest one is Emily and Mitch’s but the far one is closed.

They pause, Luke’s free hand hovering over the doorknob. Julie squeezes the hand she’s holding twice. “Take your time.” He breathes in deeply before biting the bullet and opening the door. The inside is just as Julie would’ve pictured it. Posters of musicians and bands cover the walls and there’s a vacant guitar stand in the corner. Pictures of the boys from gigs of their own and concerts they went to are lovingly arranged near his bed. Ticket stubs from movies and other shows are on display on the dresser mirror. His bookshelf is full of notebooks and other music paraphernalia. It makes Julie smile as Luke wanders around, looking for all intents and purposes like he’s reacquainting himself with his own room.

“Will you pass me that bag?” He points to a duffle resting near her feet that she picks up and hands off to him. He haphazardly shoves what little clothes are left in his drawers and closet in, followed by a few notebooks off the shelf, pictures from the wall lovingly tucked in between the pages to keep them safe. He sits on the bed and reaches to the other side where an expensive looking frosted glass bottle sits, grabbing it and tossing it in before zipping up the bag with a sense of finality. There’s a look of apprehension creasing Luke’s eyebrows and turning the corners of his mouth down.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Julie asks, crossing the room to sit beside him.

He’s silent, clearly thinking of the way to say whatever’s on his mind. “I just didn’t think I’d ever be back here is all.” She doesn’t have to ask to know he means ‘back here’ as in alive. She leans her head on his shoulder and plays with his fingers. God, it’s only been a few hours, but she’ll never get tired of feeling the warmth of his skin beneath hers, his pulse hammering against her fingertips. They sit in the quiet a moment longer until Luke says, “Let’s go see if Reggie started crying over Booger yet.” It makes Julie laugh as she follows him out of his old room, shutting the door behind her.

~ ~ ~

Alex can’t believe he’s forgotten.

Well, he didn’t  _ really  _ forget. That would imply that he failed to remember and he could never fail to remember this. He had merely… had a lot on his mind. And now that he’s settled in the Molinas’ living room after being able to drive the van back with them, the thought strikes him hard and fast out of the blue. “I have to tell Willie.”

Julie just looks at him from where she’s resting across the boys’ laps. They couldn’t really stand to be apart from one another much longer than a bathroom break and a snack-replenishing trip to the kitchen and have thusly refused to let go of one another. Until now, that is, when Julie sits up and swings her legs off of him. “Well, what are you waiting for?” She points out the door, Luke and Reggie’s accompanying shouts spurring him to action, and he doesn’t even realize he’s outside and halfway to the McKay’s house before he can comprehend what’s happening.

How will he go about this? Will Willie even be home? Will he answer the door? How does he introduce himself to Willie’s parents if he doesn’t? Question after question swirls in his mind at a dizzying pace and he hardly stops himself in time before he tries to walk through their front door like he did last time.

A deep, shuddering breath forces its way out of his lungs. This is it. He shouldn’t be so nervous. If anything, he should be excited. Willie’s parents are clearly okay with the whole gay thing given that there’s a rainbow lawn flag stuck outside the door and Willie’s own pink, yellow, and blue flag in his room. He makes himself knock before he can let his anxieties get the better of him and steps back from the door like it’s going to explode.

He reasons that someone must be home as there is a car in the driveway. Just… what does he say? There’s not much time for him to think up a plan as a petite woman opens the door. “Hello?”

Alex is frozen to the spot for a moment, feeling a bit like he’s been caught red handed. Then he shakes himself and faces her fully. “Hi, Mrs. McKay. I’m Alex. I’m, uh, a friend of Willie’s. Is he- is he home?”

The trepidation on her face melts to a wide smile. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Alex. Willie has told me so much about you. Come in, come in.” She steps back and ushers him inside the house. “I’ll go get Willie for you.” She shuts and locks the door behind her before hurrying up the steps. Looking around while he waits, he notices that most everything is the same. The holiday decorations are replaced with what he figures are the typical trinkets that take up those spaces. He wanders over to the picture wall, noticing an addition that must have taken place recently. Willie smiles bright as the sun holding up a paper that Alex has to squint to read. High School Certificate of Sufficiency. The boys had contemplated doing that themselves to keep their parents off their backs and so they wouldn’t be charged with truancy. The plan had fallen through though after they, well-

His unpleasant thought is cut off by fast, pounding footsteps. Not a moment later, Willie is there before him and all the air is sucked from Alex’s lungs. His face is fuller than when he last saw him, no longer in his wheelchair, and he seems better, less like the shell of himself he was on New Year’s Eve. “Alex?” he whispers, crossing the room slowly, hand outstretched before him.

Alex lets Willie get all the way to him, hand coming to rest on his cheek, before whispering back, “It’s me.” Willie’s hand slides to the back of his neck and pulls him in. They hug for what feels like millennia, neither seemingly able to get their grip on the other tight enough. Alex breathes deeply in, the heady scent of Willie’s shampoo and aftershave filling him with a feeling of complete and utter contentment.

“Let’s go outside,” Willie finally says, pulling back only far enough to wrap himself around Alex’s arm and lead him towards the back of the house, out a screen door, and onto a small porch. There’s a wooden swing there that Willie sits on and pulls Alex down after him, leaving not even a sheet of paper’s width between them. “When my mom said you had come to see me, I couldn’t quite believe it. And then here you are. How are you here?”

Alex chuckles once, reaching over to thread his fingers through Willie’s. “It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time.” And so Alex tells him, catching him up on what he’s missed. By the time he’s done, his mouth is dry and he never wants to talk again. He realizes this must only be a fraction of what Julie felt every time she had to explain to someone about their situation. “So, you’re back now? For good?”

“As far as I can tell,” Alex says honestly. He doesn’t know if it’s for good, but it sure feels like it. “I want it to be.” When he looks up after Willie hasn’t said anything in response, Alex finds him only centimeters away from his face. And like the total dork he is, all he can say in a whisper is, “Hi.”

Willie cracks a tiny grin at that before saying, “Can I kiss you?” Alex’s heart is hammering at his ribcage, feeling like there’s something in there trying to get loose. He doesn’t miss the use of his own words back at him and he nods the affirmative. Willie is slow to close the gap between them, but once he does, a feeling of warmth settles in the pit of Alex’s stomach and radiates out from there. He cups the back of Willie’s neck with one hand, the other slipping around his waist, deepening the kiss. It feels like a lifetime, but eventually they have to stop for air.

Alex leans his forehead against Willie’s, their breaths intermingling as they try to regain composure. “I’m so glad you’re here.” Willie says eventually, his lips brushing Alex’s when he talks.

A grin splits his face when Alex leans back in to peck him on the lips once, twice, three times before sitting back against the swing, drawing one leg up underneath him and bringing Willie to lean against his chest. Willie grabs Alex’s free hand and holds tightly, like he’s afraid Alex might disappear. It makes Alex’s heart soar. They sit there and watch as the sun dips below the horizon, staining the sky shades of gold and pink before fading into blues and purples. Alex drops a kiss at Willie’s hairline, saying, “I’m glad you’re here, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in my excitement to post last week, I totally forgot to mention that this is the 20th story in this series??? I'm just very blessed and very thankful to have all of you giving your endless love and support. I've only been doing this for five or so months but it has provided me with a creative outlet when the world and school and everything felt like it was up in flames around me. Thank you once again for your love and your kuddos and your kind words. I love you. As always, prompts are open! However, I've planned something fun for June and July that's knocked out a pretty good portion of the available prompts, so I've made a [google doc](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tCxiQlteIPqeeWAFPTOIkFVvqNKZ7RhXiYrZiES6efw/edit?usp=sharing) for you all to make requests from. It's easier than listing the 70 something prompts that are unavailable. You can drop a comment here or shoot me a PM on tumblr. As always, have a great week and, again, I love you all so much!
> 
> main: [hi-hello-hey-there](https://hi-hello-hey-there.tumblr.com/)  
> side: [toziers-token](https://toziers-token.tumblr.com/)
> 
> love, blue


	3. spirits in my head (and they won't go)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can I hold your hand?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **TRIGGER WARNING:** graphic descriptions of canonical character death, vomiting, blood; please see end notes for more detailed explanation
> 
> Title comes from [Spirits](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9kXstb9FF4) by The Strumbellas (yes, I was writing this when that sound was popular on tik tok).

There are only two thoughts running through Reggie’s head.

One: he thinks that he may be dying.

He couldn’t say where the sudden, all-encompassing, debilitating pain came from, but he can say that it started about an hour ago with a sudden, tiny pinprick of discomfort in the pit of his stomach. He and the boys had just finished eating their street dogs and were about to head back to the theater when Alex fell down to the couch with a groan. There was a grimace on his face and a sheen of sweet making his forehead shiny.

“Are you okay?” Reggie had asked.

Alex released a measured breath as if he were trying to breathe through pain. “No. My stomach started hurting really bad out of nowhere.”

Luke squatted down in front of Alex, placing a comforting hand on his knee. “Let’s see if we can find something with mint in it. It should help with your stomach ache.” And as suddenly as he stood, he was bent over, clutching his abdomen and leaning on the wall for support.

“Luke!” Reggie dismissed the tightness in his chest and lungs as overwhelming panic seized him on the spot. Two of his best friends were writhing in pain in a dirty alleyway, he had a right to be panicking!

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Luke waved him off, but he had not yet returned to full height. “I just-” He cut himself off, turned back towards the wall, and promptly threw up. Reggie finally uprooted himself, hurrying to pat Luke’s back in a hopefully soothing manner. “Oh, god.”

Reggie just rubbed slow circles into his friend’s hoodie and tried to placate him, knowing that despite both his and Alex’s obvious unwellness, Luke would only be concerned about their performance. “It’s gonna be okay. Don’t worry about the show. You just get it all out. You’ll be-”

And then he caught sight of the contents of Luke’s stomach. Reggie only heard a strange rushing sound in his head when he noticed that there was blood in it. He was acting on autopilot by the time Luke started to pitch forward, Reggie catching him by the shoulders and lowering him to the ground in a sitting position. He couldn’t think with the thudding of his heart echoing throughout his entire body, but he needed to come up with a solution to their problem. Ignoring a painful pinch in his abdomen, he turned to check on Alex and willed his brain to work faster.

Alex was leaned back against the couch, clenching his whole body as a wave of pain overtakes him. Reggie noticed that his breathing is shallow, far too shallow to be good, and that he slumped to the side as soon as it was over. “Alex? Are you okay?” He cut himself off with a grunt as another, more painful twist of his insides caught him off guard, nearly pitching forward himself.

“Reg?” Alex’s voice was faint and he squinted up at him, reaching forward weakly. Immediately, Reggie reached for his hand.

“Yeah, it’s me,” he answered.

Alex gulped down a breath that he struggled with. “You’re so blurry.” His eyes were trying to focus but he was looking slightly to the left of Reggie’s face.

Reggie brought his free hand up to turn Alex’s face fully towards his own and drew it back just as quickly. “Dude, you’re burning up.” A bought of coughing racked Reggie’s body as Luke tipped his head back against the wall. There was a trail of bloody saliva running out of his mouth and Reggie just doesn’t know what to do. He was still coughing as he announced to both of them, “I’m going to try and find help.” He started his journey to the end of the alley, the building burning sensation in his gut getting harder and harder to ignore every second.

He focused on just getting to the end of the alley, getting someone’s attention so the could call an ambulance or Bobby or someone that could help his friends. His vision started swimming halfway to his destination, his head going fuzzy not long after that. He caught himself on the wall, scrapping the palm of his hand against the rough brick. The breath he tried to force in and out of his lungs wasn’t enough and the dizziness caught up to him just shy of the alley’s opening. He couldn’t get his legs under himself fast enough and then he was on the ground, a weak cry for help leaving his lips.

The next thing he knew, he heard sirens. Someone was above him, trying to get his attention but he couldn’t pull himself out of the darkness. It was cozy in the darkness. He couldn’t feel so much pain in the darkness.

“Hey!” the stranger kneeling above him called. She had long auburn hair and panic in her eyes. “Stay awake, okay? The ambulance is almost here.” He noticed then that he’s lying on his side, a pool of tar-like vomit not a foot away from him.

“My-” Oh, god, his throat hurt. He winced at just the one word but he needs to know if the others are okay. “My friends-”

“The other two in the alley?” the girl asked. Reggie nodded, grateful that he wouldn’t have to speak for now. She looked Alex and Luke’s way, her eyebrows creasing. “They don’t look so hot, but the ambulance is coming. They can help you guys.” Reggie felt his eyelids grow heavy and longed so desperately to give in. “Whoa, hey, no! You have to stay awake. I don’t know what’s wrong with you and you’ll have to tell the EMTs.”

She made small talk that Reggie tried his best to pay attention to. He learned her name was Faith and that she’d be a senior in high school next year. She and two of her friends had been out tonight to celebrate her seventeenth birthday. Her favorite color and the name of her little sister, their favorite flower the same one. Reggie tried to commit these little things to memory in an effort both to stay awake and to thank her for helping a complete stranger.

Before he could say anything in return to her, the sirens got the loudest they’d been this whole time and then they were being swarmed by EMTs. The man who’d come to see what’d happened to him spoke quickly with Faith for a moment before turning to him. “Sir, can you tell me your name?”

He struggled through the words but eventually got out: “Reggie Peters.” They went through the spiel of asking if he knows what day it was, who’s the president, and his relevant medical history before he was being loaded onto a gurney and pushed into the same ambulance as Alex, EMTs rushing around them.

His second thought? Reggie has never been alone before in his life.

When he was a kid, he’d always had his two older brothers, Stevie and Chase. They’d been living with their mom and dad a lot longer than Reggie had and always did their best to shield him from their fighting. And when Stevie went back to Texas for college and Chase was killed in action, he had Luke, Alex, and Bobby. Even when he was by himself, he never felt truly alone. The boys and Stevie were just one call away and Chase was close too. All he had to do was pluck up the courage to visit the cemetery and he could unload everything on his mind like he did when his brother was alive.

So his heart sinks, the pain absolutely overshadowed by the crushing weight of the EMT’s words when Alex asks what happened to Luke. Reggie feels like he could tell before the words came out of her mouth because of the crestfallen look on her face. “He… he didn’t make it.” The tears are already leaking out of his eyes when Alex shoots his hand out and laces their fingers together, both of them squeezing as hard as they can. Luke, in true Luke fashion, had gone first. He had always gone first at everything: asking people out, convincing them all to join a band, volunteering to cover for their late nights,  _ everything _ . Reggie would almost be impressed with his dedication to making sure he could tell his friends exactly what was coming so they didn’t have to be scared if he wasn’t so sad. Luke couldn’t tell them what was coming next for this one.

Alex’s hand suddenly seizes in his own, his pained cries cutting off abruptly. “We’re losing him!” the other EMT shouts. And, god, the horrible, jagged gasping sounds Alex is making will live in his memory forever. The EMT is giving him chest compressions, fighting the slowing of the heart monitor, and is asking for the defibrillator when Reggie hears the monitor flatlining. He doesn’t let go of Alex even when his arm falls limp and his fingers go lax.

He doesn’t quite hear himself, but he can feel the sobs tearing out of his chest and how they burn on the way out, feels his lips form the word, “No,” over and over and over again. He feels the tears cascading down his cheeks, the pain in his abdomen returning full force with the power of his crying. He doesn’t hear the EMTs urging him to remain calm for fear of worsening his condition either.

And then, the weight of the situation hits him with the force of a truck: for the first time in his life, Reggie is well and truly  _ alone _ . He’s gasping for air at his new reality or perhaps its the fiery sensation setting his lungs aflame but that doesn’t matter. He hadn’t spoken to his parents in almost exactly two months. He hadn’t called Stevie or visited Chase in a lot longer than that. He’d witnessed two of his closest friends die and he can feel his body giving up on him. He didn’t even get to say goodbye to anybody, let anyone close to him know that he wouldn’t be around. He’s alone and scared and hurting and he wants nothing more than for the darkness to come back to him.

He hears Alex’s voice call his name in his delirium, feels his body shaking, with shock or anguish he doesn’t know until…

…"Reggie!”

He bolts upright in bed, gasping for air and clutching desperately at his stomach. When he feels no pain, his throat opens up a little more, but he’s still panicking for no reason and he can’t seem to stop it. “Alright, alright,” Alex is saying softly, pushing him forward until his head is between his knees. “Just take a deep breath in.” Reggie does as he’s told, taking deep, greedy gulps of air into his lungs. He’s done seven of those breaths before he notices the plush, cream colored carpet beneath his feet, the light blue blanket draped over his legs, the fresh smell of laundry detergent.

He sits up slowly and realizes that he’s in the Molinas’ basement exactly where Julie and Carlos had set them up after Ray had promised Julie she’d see them in the morning before school. It had been hard, he remembers, to let her out of their sight after everything that had happened that day, but then again, the permanence of the situation was still under scrutiny.

Reggie flops against Alex’s shoulder, weighed down suddenly with exhaustion. “Sorry.”

“No, hey, you don’t have anything to be sorry about.” Alex puts his arm around Reggie’s shoulder and only when the remnants of Alex’s cologne hit his nose does he start to relax. “Let’s go outside and get some fresh air.” For a moment, Reggie wonders if Ray would be okay with it, if they should just wait until morning when everyone is up and he feels less like he has to ask for permission. Then he realizes that Ray would probably be more upset that he didn’t take care of himself when he needed it. Gaze falling on Luke’s sleeping figure in the corner, Alex asks, “Do you want me to get him, too?”

Reggie shakes his head after a moment’s thought. “You know how hard it used to be to get him to sleep. He needs it.” Alex only nods in response before taking the blanket from his area of the couch and dragging it over his shoulder and beckoning Reggie to follow him. He’s guided to the front door, which they open and shut quickly and quietly and leave unlocked so they can get back inside. On the way out, he catches sight of the clock and realizes that he’d only been asleep for four hours since midnight.

There’s a bench on the front porch but Reggie forgoes it in favor of leaning on the railing, taking in the dark of the early morning and the chill February air. He rubs his hands over his face, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes, as he tries to scrub the memories of that night from his mind. Alex takes a seat on the bench and tucks his legs up underneath him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Reggie ponders the question a moment. Does he? In this moment, he wants nothing more than to forget everything and leave it in the past. But he knows that talking about it will only help him in the long run. He stays where he is, listening to the sounds of the night. Making eye contact or being in close quarters will make this harder than it needs to be. “Do you remember that night? The night we died?”

“Of course. Is that what you were dreaming about?”

“Yeah.” Reggie runs his hands up and down his arms, the chill starting to bite at the bare skin there. “I remember everything except for when I blacked out.”

Alex is quiet for a moment until he says, “You had made it to the end of the alleyway before you stumbled and fell. I tried to call your name, but my throat hurt so bad. It wasn’t long before a group of people came to help us. A girl with blue hair tried to keep me awake after she ran into the nearest store and asked them to dial 911.”

“I still remember that the girl who helped me, Faith, had a little sister named Erica and that they both liked daisies. I’ll never get to thank her for what she did.” When he turns to face Alex, he notices the thoughtful look on his face. “What?”

He pats the cushion next to him and Reggie takes the invitation to sit beside him. They let the silence sit between them before he says, “We’ll probably always remember that night. As painful as it was, it helped shape us into the people we are today. Our lives up to this point have been kinda crazy and I’m not exactly expecting that to go away any time soon. All that to say: sure, it’s gonna hurt to think about what happened to us, of course it will be, but you’ve always had me and Luke and now you have Julie and the Molinas, Flynn and Carrie and Nick. We even have Bobby back. You don’t have to go through this alone. We’ve always been there for each other and nothing is going to change that.”

A shuddery sigh makes its way out of Reggie’s lips as he deflates. Alex had always been good at pep talks and inspirational speeches. He’s still a little shaky, though, so he asks, **“Can I hold your hand?”** Alex doesn’t even answer, just shakes his hand free of his blanket and holds it palm up for Reggie. He slots their fingers together, Alex instantly squeezing and dropping his head to Reggie’s shoulder. He plops his cheek down on top of Alex’s head and lets himself breathe. Alex is probably right. He’ll never forget that night or any of the million little haunting details. There is one thing that still bothers him. “I know it wasn’t for very long, but after that EMT told us Luke was gone and you followed not long after, I was alone. Like actually alone for the first time in my life. I was so scared that it overrode all the pain I was in mostly because I didn’t know how I was going to go on by myself.”

“And you’ll never have to.” Alex’s answer is assuring in both sentiment and tone, like he’s never been more sure of anything in his life. “We’ll never abandon you. I know sometimes it can be hard to remember, but we won’t.”

Reggie smiles despite himself. “I know.” The beginnings of a comforting warm feeling take root in his stomach now that he’s let himself relax. The last bit of tension in his body bleeds out, unclenching every last one of his muscles and smoothing the crease between his eyebrows. He just sits there, the newly restored heat radiating off of Alex keeping him from shivering. He had always run hot and Reggie has never been more thankful for it than he is now.

The sky is starting to lighten incrementally so he sits there and he watches knowing he won’t be able to go back to sleep. Alex drops off pretty quickly after he’s done imparting words of wisdom so Reggie lets him sleep. Their future is one big question mark at the moment save for one thing: music. They still have each other and Julie and the band, so as long as they stay together, everything should be just fine. He takes another deep breath of cool air and closes his eyes to finish centering himself. Then he reaches over to pull the disregarded side of Alex’s blanket around his shoulder, never letting go of his hand the whole time.

He was going to be just fine and no one was going to leave him. Not if he has anything to say about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **About the Trigger Warning:** Reggie has a nightmare about the night he and the boys died. In this nightmare, there are graphic descriptions of the food poisoning, such as stomach pains, vomiting, blood, and Alex and Luke's deaths from Reggie's point of view. The nightmare ends at _"…"Reggie!”"_.
> 
> A few things: last week, I had a pretty big exam the next day and when I posted it, I was experiencing day 4 of what felt like an ongoing panic attack. You and your lovely comments and support really made everything so much better, so thank you. Next, this one really hurt to write. Like it took me forever to finish this. I know that it's canonical that they died, but it's a kids' show and they gloss over the fact that the boys are dead and something made them that way. It's treated as a joke and so trying to see it in a more serious light really just took its toll on me. I kinda hated this, but I feel like it's a necessary point of Reggie's personality. I hate that I inadvertently keep hurting him, but good things are coming! Finally, I'm _very_ excited for the next chapter and what comes after this. I hope you are too. Prompts are open, my lovlies! Here's the [google doc](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tCxiQlteIPqeeWAFPTOIkFVvqNKZ7RhXiYrZiES6efw/edit?usp=sharing) with all the available prompts for you. You can drop a comment here with your requests or send me a PM on tumblr. I love you all very much and have a fantastic week!
> 
> main: [hi-hello-hey-there](https://hi-hello-hey-there.tumblr.com/)  
> side: [toziers-token](https://toziers-token.tumblr.com/)
> 
> love, blue


	4. heal (and tell me some things last)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I dreamt about you last night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta, we die like 90s 5SOS.  
> Title from Tom Odell's [Heal](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55RVS3MW2aQ) which is just a terribly sad song that makes me cry and also embodies this chapter.

When Julie reaches over to silence her alarm, she notices that she hears none of the usual morning sounds of the Molina household waking up. It’s not completely unusual that she’s the first one awake and with everything that happened yesterday it’s more than fair to assume that exhaustion, both physical and emotional, had a stronger hold on everyone than it usually did.

She stretches, sitting up and squinting at the sunlight filtering in through a gap in her curtains. Letting out a content sigh, she swings her legs over the edge of the bed, leg devoid of the stiffness and soreness that usually accompanies the old fracture site in the mornings. She ambles leisurely through her morning routine, deciding that she’ll get breakfast at school or take something with her to eat during the ride there. She picks out a plain, comfy outfit consisting of well-worn light wash jeans, and a purple long-sleeved crop top over a camisole.

Julie tightens the last of her go-to bracelets to her wrist as she makes her way downstairs, noticing her dad at the stove scrambling eggs. He’s not whistling or singing like he usually does nowadays and instead he looks tired in an all too familiar way. Exhaustion drags his face down into the kind of look he tried to hide from Julie and Carlos when he couldn’t always screw up a smile in time. She pecks him on the cheek as she passes by, heading toward the basement to check on the boys.

“Morning,  _ mija _ . What are you up to?” he asks, scooping eggs onto three plates. Odd, Julie thinks, that there aren’t six now that the boys can eat.

She shakes it off and keeps descending the stairs. “Just seeing if-” The basement is empty. And not only that, it’s clean. Devoid of any evidence the boys slept there last night. “Strange,” she whispers to herself. Stepping further into the basement, she notes that the blankets she had pulled out of the closet for them were folded pristinely and placed back in their rightful places, pillows almost too perfectly fluffed. They wouldn’t leave without telling her, would they? Not after everything that happened yesterday.

“ _ Mija _ ?”

Julie’s shaken from her reverie and confusion by her dad calling for her again. “Coming.” This all was weird but she puts it out of her mind. They were used to coming and going as they pleased when they were alive in this house back in the 90s; it’s not that weird that they picked up their old habits.

She climbs back up the stairs, the absence of the clicking of her bad leg’s knee puzzling her. And when she notices the time, realizing Flynn will be here soon to see the guys and take her to school, she takes her plate of eggs and the slice of toast her dad made and plops down at the island next to Carlos, shoveling food in like her life depended on it.

Sooner rather than later, Flynn does show up, honking the horn from the driveway like usual. “I thought she was coming inside today,” Julie mumbles to herself as she deposits her dirty dish in the sink to clean up later and scooping up her backpack. She’s starting to get a little worried. Maybe they should’ve given the boys an old cell phone so they could keep in touch if they left. Absently, she drops a kiss amongst Carlos’ curls and places one on her dad’s cheek before rushing outside.

“Hey, girl!” Flynn says when she climbs in the passenger seat, reaching across the consul to hug her best friend.

“Hey! Sorry, the boys aren’t here. I can’t find them,” Julie apologizes as Flynn backs out of her driveway.

She almost misses the very confused look she’s thrown before Flynn goes back to concentrating on the road. “Boys? What kind of trouble are you getting into, Miss Molina?”

Julie chuckles, but the sincerity behind her statement, the genuine curiosity, makes her a little nauseous. “You know who I’m talking about. Don’t play dumb.”

Flynn just shakes her head slowly, pulling onto the main drag. “If you had boys staying at your house, one, I would know, and two, your father would be out of his mind.”

It dawns, then, on her that the guys must’ve gotten Flynn to play some kind of practical joke on Julie, so she lets it go with a, “Okay. I must be going crazy.” They drive in silence for a little longer, Julie reflecting on just how she’s going to get back at the boys and how Luke was definitely the mastermind behind this scheme. They’re about three quarters of the way to school when she asks, “Can you play drivers license?”

“Yeah. By who?” Flynn asks, reaching behind her steering wheel for the button that would allow her to ask instead of looking it up on her phone.

That stops Julie in her tracks. “What do you mean ‘by who’? It’s your favorite song right now.”

“Girl, did you hit your head or something? First mystery boys and now mistaking my favorite song? Are you okay?” They’re stopped at a red light and with the haze in Julie’s brain, she has half a mind to get out of the car and walk the rest of the way, first period be damned. What is going on? Why does nobody know what she’s talking about? This isn’t making any sense. This can’t be just a prank unless they had the time between staying up late last night and Julie waking up this morning to not only plan some elaborate strategy but also rope Flynn into it. Her head is still reeling when the car jolts forward under her and Flynn is calling her name. “Julie! What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just... a weird dream I was having I guess,” she comes up with lamely.

Neither of the girls believe what’s coming out of her mouth, but Flynn doesn’t press, instead finishing the ride to school quietly. They get out and head to their lockers without saying anything until Julie waves at Nick who waves back. Flynn nudges her shoulder before going back to grabbing books out of her locker. “Ooh! What was that all about?”

“It’s nothing,” Julie says, this time completely sure she had already talked about her entirely platonic feelings for him with her best friend. “Oh, and there’s Carrie.” She sees the girl in her signature pink approach Nick, threading her arm through his like she used to when they were dating, though she knows they're working on getting back to that. Julie gives a quick wave to her, too, and a smile and then blanches when Carrie gives her the stink eye before escorting Nick to their shared chemistry class. If she hadn’t come to the conclusion already, she’d think that today was turning out to be very weird.

She floats through her first period on muscle memory alone, the material in the calc class seeming easier than usual but also repetitive. No matter; it’s not like she’s complaining that she already knows what's coming in calculus of all classes. Though, she knows something is up when she steps into music, ready to continue their rehearsal for the spring concert when Mrs. Harrison pulls her aside.

“How are you feeling, dear?” she asks, a strange pitying look coming over her face. She places a hand on Julie’s shoulder, rubbing it in circles.

Now, she’s thoroughly confused. “I’m… fine, thanks for asking.”

“So you’ll be up to performing today? You know that if you don’t, I can’t guarantee your spot for this semester.” She must nod even though she doesn’t feel it because Mrs. Harrison nods with a small smile, squeezing her shoulder before letting her move to her seat.

Her confusion doesn’t ease up all of class, not even while Nick and their other classmates are performing their solos from earlier this year. In fact, it adds to it. They had already done this. Or at least it felt like they had. Hadn’t they? Julie knows now this can’t be some kind of prank. She leans over halfway through the period to ask the person sitting next to her the date.

“September ninth,” they respond.

The words echo in her head as she shuffles forward, Mrs. Harrison ushering her towards the piano, attempting to placate her with supportive words. _This isn’t possible_ , she thinks as she sits, _because it would mean I’ve gone back in time_. She glances Flynn out of the corner of her eye, mouthing “you can do this” to her. Julie lets her hands hover over the piano and a feeling of panic she hadn’t felt in months seizes her insides, gripping her lungs so tight she almost can’t breathe. Next thing she knows, she’s out in the hallway, ignoring Flynn following after her and pushing outside for some fresh air.

The next few weeks are a blur. Because she couldn’t pluck up the courage to perform, she looses her spot in the music program. She and her father and _tía_ Victoria talk about it at great lengths, deciding eventually that moving really is the best option, that a fresh start will be good for all of them, not just Julie. She and Carlos help take pictures of the house to put on the real estate website, the property selling almost as soon as it’s out there. Julie gets enrolled into a new school two districts away with a good music department and an understanding choir director. Flynn comes over to help her pack away her belongings and to try and convince her to help her dad and Carlos take care of the garage, but she adamantly refuses. She finishes her last few days at Los Feliz High with hard work, Mrs. Harrison and Principal Lessa telling her often they’re sad to see her go. They move into the new house, Julie promises to visit Flynn every weekend and FaceTime her every night, and the whole time, something feels like it’s missing.

She’s had this weird sense of déjà vu ever since that day she couldn’t perform. It feels like she’s done this before, that something like this has already happened but it’s off. She notices it in the way she turns to tell a horrible joke she heard the other day only to remember that nobody is there. She realizes she’s humming songs that sound distantly familiar but that she can’t place for the life of her. She drums along on the handle of the shopping cart to music she hears in the grocery store or moves her finger along imaginary guitar frets, regardless of the fact that she doesn’t know how to play either of those instruments.

It doesn’t occur to her what’s missing until she’s digging through her mom’s trunk of stuff, looking for a favorite bracelet of her mom’s she wants to add to her everyday collection, and finds and old white tee shirt with a band logo and bedazzled jewels on the front. “Sunset Curve,” she says aloud as she holds it up to inspect it. It looks well-worn but taken care of. The name sounds like something she’s heard before so she looks it up.

When she finds the article about three out of the band’s four members dying in a tragic accident, she drops her phone like it’s burned her.  _ Of course _ , she thinks.  _ How could I forget them? _ Luke and Alex and Reggie and Caleb and Willie and Carrie and Nick and everything comes flooding back to her. The Orpheum, The Hollywood Ghost Club, broken legs and wheelchairs. Tears spring to her eyes. “Oh, my god I forgot them.”

“No,  _ mija _ . You didn’t forget them,” a well-known voice she hasn’t heard in ages says from behind her. She turns to see none other than her mother sitting there.

“Mom,” she sobs out, pulling herself off the floor and barreling into her mother’s open arms. “What’s happening?”

“Oh, my darling.” She just lets her mother hold her for a moment. Answers can wait. Julie breathes in the heady scent of her mom’s peach and orange blossom perfume and lets her muscles relax; this is the smell of security. “The only thing that’s happening is that you’re scared.”

“Mama?” Julie pulls back to look at her mother’s face, studying it so she doesn’t forget a single detail.

Rose runs her hands over her daughter’s face and hair, resting them on her cheeks. “You’re scared. Those boys mean so much to you and now that you have them in their full capacity, you’re scared that they could go away or that it isn’t permanent, so your brain is taking advantage of that fear.”

“What are you saying?” Julie leans her face into her mother’s hand, letting the familiar piano calluses brush against the apples of her cheek.

Rose plants a kiss on her forehead before putting a finger under her chin and smiling fondly at her daughter. “This isn’t real.”

~ ~ ~

Julie’s eyes snap open as she wakes from her nightmare. She sits up slowly, shivering even though she’s not cold. There’s no way she’s going back to sleep now, not after that shit show. Her teeth chatter as she stands, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, and she winces at the twinge in her leg. A feeling of relief incrementally flows through her as she realizes she’s actually awake now. Quietly and still shaking, she shuffles around her room, collecting one of Reggie’s discarded flannels and a pair of sneakers.

Her head is full of questions as she tiptoes out of her room and down the stairs. Was that really her mother? Or just a figment of her imagination? Is that what would have happened if she never found the boys’ old CD? She shakes her head to get rid of the thoughts and is about to head to the basement to check on the guys when she notices two figures sitting on the front porch. Pulling on the sneakers as she approaches the door, she realizes that it’s Reggie and Alex. She steps outside and looks at the sky, a lighter blue than expected, and figures it must be later in the morning than she thought. Reggie looks up at her and wordlessly scoots over, Alex stirring a little in his sleep and resettling on Reggie’s shoulder. Julie sits on his other side and similarly places her cheek on his free shoulder.

Without prompting, Reggie takes her hand and squeezes once, twice to let her know he’s there if she wants to talk. When she looks at his face, she notices the dark circles under his eyes, the distant look on his face. It’s so out of place on him that she takes her right hand and places the back of it on his forehead, wondering for a moment if maybe he’s sick and that coming back to life has adverse effects on the immune system. A tired smile quirks the corner of his mouth up, telling her that that’s not why he looks so out of it, and Julie leaves it alone.

Soon enough, the door opens and closes again and a sleepy looking Luke joins them, silently sitting on the ground between Julie and Reggie’s legs and leaning back on them. They let the early morning chill wash over them, Alex eventually shivering himself awake. All she can think about is being with them, making sure they’re actually here and not a bunch of smoke and mirrors that will disappear the moment she moves.

**“I dreamt about you last night.”** The words come out of her without her permission and she resists the urge to cover her mouth when they do. Luke looks up at her with a strange expression on his face so she elaborates. “Or rather, a dream without you. I’m shaken up about it, I guess.”

“We’re listening,” Alex says softly from Reggie’s other side.

A shaky sigh leaves her and she continues, “I dreamt it was that day again, the day we met, except I remembered everything that happened between then and now. Everybody thought I was losing it. _I_ thought I was losing it. I lost my place in the music program all over again but this time I never found your demo. We moved out of this house, me and Carlos transferred schools, I only saw Flynn sometimes, and… and I forgot about you. It felt like it went on for months and months except that I felt like a part of me was missing. And I couldn’t figure out what was causing the empty, hollow feeling for the life of me until I found my mom’s Sunset Curve shirt.” She tells them about how her mother showed up then, telling her why she was feeling like this. “I am scared, so incredibly terrified, that I’ll wake up one day and all the progress I’ve made will be gone and you three with it.” A sob bubbles up and out of her throat and she pushes the back of her hand against her mouth.

Luke places his hand on her knee and looks at her with such sincerity in his eyes that she would have trouble not believing him when he says, “That will never happen because we’re here to stay and you’re so strong, Julie.”

Reggie and Alex both crowd in from her left side and Luke kneels in front of her and soon, she’s engulfed in their arms, the warmth coming off of them easing the tension in her shoulders. On instinct, she wraps her own arms around them and breathes in the smell of Reggie’s cologne still lingering on his clothes, Alex’s shampoo fresh from his shower last night, and Luke’s laundry detergent that he insisted on using every time he washed his clothes. The remnants of her mom’s perfume are still fresh in the back of her mind nothing could ever replace her, but here and now, surrounded by her bandmates, her friends, her _family_ , she’s safe.

Over Luke’s shoulder, she peeks shooting star in the last traces of midnight blue sky. She clamps her eyes shut and tightens her arms around her boys, forehead resting on Alex’s. As a reflex, she wants to wish on it for this all to be forever, but with everything that she has right in front of her, there’s no need. She already knows this is forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed this chapter. I'd been thinking on it for a while by the time I got around to writing it so I hope you all enjoy it! We've got a little more angst coming up but it shouldn't be too bad because I have some fun stuff coming up, too. As always, prompts are open from [this google doc](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tCxiQlteIPqeeWAFPTOIkFVvqNKZ7RhXiYrZiES6efw/edit?usp=sharing) and you can drop your requests in the comments here or send me a message on tumblr. I love you all so so so much and I hope you have a great week!
> 
> main: [hi-hello-hey-there](https://hi-hello-hey-there.tumblr.com/)  
> side: [toziers-token](https://toziers-token.tumblr.com/)
> 
> love, blue

**Author's Note:**

> Bear with me because, yes, this is a little strange!


End file.
